It was just sprung on me that we HAVE TO go to my father-in-laws for the Super Bowl. Before it was he invited us, now we HAVE to. This conversation transpired after I asked what we should have for the game...the apps, snacks, main dish. None of that was discussed, just we have to go because his birthday is the 30th.
I said, why can’t we go Saturday, my daughter is off Saturday, and may be scheduled to work Sunday, we will find out Thursday when the schedule comes out.
Reasons I don’t want to go to my father-in-law’s for the Super Bowl:
• I watch the Super Bowl the way I watch the Super Bowl and I won’t be able to do so at his house. If my team isn’t in the game, I watch the commercials and do food prep, serve myself, and take bathroom breaks DURING the game. I don’t watch the game if I’m not rooting for a team. At his house it will be the opposite and everyone will be talking during commercials, making it impossible for me to be able to hear and see the commercials.
• My daughter may have to work Sunday, and Monday.
• The time of the game will make us get home quite late.
• It’s a long drive which is very uncomfortable for me. This makes me anti-social, which makes it appear that I’m being rude, when I’m
• I will not be able to make the apps, snacks, and main dish because most of them don’t travel well. (Haven’t decided what to make, but generally speaking, what I have made in the past and what my kids ask for, those things don’t travel well.
• We have NEVER watched a Super Bowl game away from home.
• The food/menu will be loaded with carbs, no veggies, no low carb apps.
• I can’t watch the game in my jammies.
• I can’t have a beer or cocktail, because I will have to drive. I can’t stand the screaming at traffic, it’s gotten worse, I’m sure because of the pain. I am a calm, relaxed driver and I take my time to arrive safely. My spouse, not so much. If my spouse drives, it’s super stressful for me.
• I will not be able to take medication, because I will have to drive.
I’m sure there are more reasons, I just can’t think of them now.
There was no discussion. My spouse left the room and is not talking to me. So yes, I am in the dog house.
My son just walked in asking who is making the chili for the Super Bowl. I WAS going to, but now I can’t. We do not have the money to make chili for at least 4 extra people. My son is not pleased about this change of plans and throwing our tradition of watching the game at home out the window. My daughter will feel the same.
I know what will happen, I will have to concede and I will be miserable due to pain and crappy food. What do I mean by crappy food? It will be cheap, undercooked hamburgers and burnt hotdogs and who knows what else. I only eat well done burgers and insist my kids do so as well. They don’t like burgers done medium. Why will I have to concede? Because I always have to.
Update: Of course I conceded. I will suck it up and put on my damn happy face cuz that’s what I always do. But I am NOT making expensive food for 8+ people. NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!
Shane's Lounge ©2011-2020
Wednesday, January 29, 2020
Saturday, January 25, 2020
It’s been rough
Remember my last post when I mentioned that I told my spouse she needs to temper her expectations on what the back injection will do to improve her pain? Had a conversation with her tonight. She says she doesn’t think it worked at all. She was hobbling, hunchback when she cane to talk to me. Truthfully, I knew they didn’t work. The screaming crazy woman gave it away. OMG! The past 2 days have been horrible. Of course it’s not helping my migraines, let alone getting my daughter to behave appropriately. I would even take somewhat appropriately. It’s been bad. My daughter is on an extended hone visit because she sees her gynecologist Tuesday. She was supposed to see her pulmonologist Thursday, but we canceled due to the snow.
So after my spouse told me the injection didn’t work, I told her that the next step will be several more injections, then surgery talk. She doesn’t want surgery. That’s the game insurance companies play. You have to keep trying the injections, then they want to do back surgery.
Shane's Lounge ©2011-2020
So after my spouse told me the injection didn’t work, I told her that the next step will be several more injections, then surgery talk. She doesn’t want surgery. That’s the game insurance companies play. You have to keep trying the injections, then they want to do back surgery.
Shane's Lounge ©2011-2020
Tuesday, January 21, 2020
I think I’ll hang out here tonight
So my spouse is having injections in her back Wednesday. She is convinced that her back pain will be cured. I’ve tried to tell her to temper her expectations, but she’s not having any of it.
She’s having an epidural. I’ve had them multiple times, as well as facet injections. I found them to be incredibly painful, took weeks to get back to just above my previous baseline pain level. Anastasia has had them 3 times that I know of. She schedules them so she can take an extended weekend because she has had similar responses.
I want to run away from home. I cannot deal with her as it is when her pain level is high. She is just not fun to be around (to put it nicely) when she is having a bad pain day. I have them often and really try to watch my mouth and attitude. I try to be as chill as possible because of the kids. The kids know it’s a really bad pain day for me when I ask them for help a lot. My son knows when I ask him to granny walk me to or from the car. He has no problem helping. My spouse on the other hand refuses help, even when it’s something she shouldn’t be doing. Like going on a stepladder to put heavy duty plastic on a window earlier this week. Flat out refuses and gets angry at even the suggestion of help.
I am at my wits end. Honestly. I know I can be a b**** at times, but as I said above, I really make an effort to NOT behave that way. My spouse, in the other hand, doesn’t seem to make an effort. Ok, she could be having more pain than she can handle, but one would think that some of the time the behavior wouldn’t be as bad.
We used to say we never fought. After her second total knee replacement complications and the addition of back pain caused by her new body mechanics, I can’t say that. I will not sit and listen to her yell at my kids for even the most minuscule infractions. I’ve started to speak up. Part of it is her lack of knowledge of their illnesses. She thinks they are lazy, when really they are having trouble focusing and having trouble remembering the steps and the correct order to do something. The other part is her pain. Pain can make anyone not a nice person.
Dear God, I pray that the injections my spouse receives tomorrow will lessen her pain as much as possible. In Jesus’s name I pray.
I need to do more research to find a book that better explains my kid’s illnesses so I can have her read it. I’ve been dealing with at least 1 family member with this illness since 1996. I think it’s safe to say that I have educated myself through books, researching online, and talking to hospital staff for the nearly 40 hospitalizations amongst my family members.
Shane's Lounge ©2011-2020
She’s having an epidural. I’ve had them multiple times, as well as facet injections. I found them to be incredibly painful, took weeks to get back to just above my previous baseline pain level. Anastasia has had them 3 times that I know of. She schedules them so she can take an extended weekend because she has had similar responses.
I want to run away from home. I cannot deal with her as it is when her pain level is high. She is just not fun to be around (to put it nicely) when she is having a bad pain day. I have them often and really try to watch my mouth and attitude. I try to be as chill as possible because of the kids. The kids know it’s a really bad pain day for me when I ask them for help a lot. My son knows when I ask him to granny walk me to or from the car. He has no problem helping. My spouse on the other hand refuses help, even when it’s something she shouldn’t be doing. Like going on a stepladder to put heavy duty plastic on a window earlier this week. Flat out refuses and gets angry at even the suggestion of help.
I am at my wits end. Honestly. I know I can be a b**** at times, but as I said above, I really make an effort to NOT behave that way. My spouse, in the other hand, doesn’t seem to make an effort. Ok, she could be having more pain than she can handle, but one would think that some of the time the behavior wouldn’t be as bad.
We used to say we never fought. After her second total knee replacement complications and the addition of back pain caused by her new body mechanics, I can’t say that. I will not sit and listen to her yell at my kids for even the most minuscule infractions. I’ve started to speak up. Part of it is her lack of knowledge of their illnesses. She thinks they are lazy, when really they are having trouble focusing and having trouble remembering the steps and the correct order to do something. The other part is her pain. Pain can make anyone not a nice person.
Dear God, I pray that the injections my spouse receives tomorrow will lessen her pain as much as possible. In Jesus’s name I pray.
I need to do more research to find a book that better explains my kid’s illnesses so I can have her read it. I’ve been dealing with at least 1 family member with this illness since 1996. I think it’s safe to say that I have educated myself through books, researching online, and talking to hospital staff for the nearly 40 hospitalizations amongst my family members.
Shane's Lounge ©2011-2020
Monday, January 6, 2020
Been a long time. PLEASE comment. I need advice.
It’s been a long time. This was my safe haven when my ex-husband found my main blog.
I find the need for a safe haven now. I can’t believe how STUPID I was giving my sister-in-law my main Blog’s name and http:// address.
There was a legitimate reason for it. I did scrub from it any references to her and any negative family stuff, as well as anything too colorful.
My sister-in-law wrote a book and I got an advance copy to review. The book is a memoir. For starters, before I even get into the content, she’s over the top pushy about posting on Facebook and Twitter and about using her hashtags. I’ve posted once to Twitter.
Content. Without getting into specifics, I can speak to generally what the book is about. It’s about her personal struggles in life and how God got her through them. She had some very unfortunate events happen. I already knew about those things. Very difficult things to grieve and carry on after. There is also a lot of preachy stuff. I expected that.
Here is what I didn’t expect and what I am genuinely flabbergasted about:
She threw her entire family under the bus. At least those that she actually mentioned.
The characterizations of her childhood are horrible. She sounds like the poor little poor girl who grew up in a rich neighborhood in a home with too many people, jealous of her classmates clothing and their ability to afford after school activities.
She makes friends against the odds. Gets invited on a friend’s vacation and says her mother was jealous. Her Mom is not around to defend herself as she passed away several years ago. I was always taught ‘don’t speak unkindly of the dead’. It goes without saying that you shouldn’t write unkind and possibly untrue things about the dead. She refers to her friends as her sisters. She refers to herself as an ONLY CHILD! MORE THAN ONCE. She also refers to her friend’s mom as her “adoptive mom”. Her Mom was very much alive and well during this period.
She has 2 step sisters and a step brother, along with a step father who let her live with him for at least 5 years when she would have been homeless otherwise.
The book is a memoir.
I’m appalled! I’m angry. I have no idea how to write a review. I want to wash my eyes out and pretend I never read any of it. I don’t want to do the Facebook memes for the book or whatever she’s calling them and I don’t want to tweet about it anymore either.
I’m 65% into the book. I don’t want to stop reading because I’d really rather my spouse not read it in it’s entirety. I’d rather give her the Cliff Notes version. Last night she got so upset she was crying over it. I don’t want to see her cry, and as I said, I don’t think she should read it.
UPDATE: I finished the book late last night. It was more of the same and then some. She talks about trying to convert her husband to her religion and to live in the Freedom of her God. She talks about giving up on converting him and giving it to God to convert him and “save” him. The man was not a heathen. He was a church goer, believed in God, prayed to God daily. It just wasn’t her God. Shortly after her giving up on converting him he was killed in a car accident. To see her write about the aftermath, the hospital notification, telling family, the children, the funeral arrangements, service and burial there was no mention of any of her step family. Only gushing praise and love for her church “family”. It’s like her step family doesn’t exist. ALL her family was at her home from the time they were notified until the funeral service and after. All her step siblings were there, her step Dad, her Mom were there. My spouse lived in Michigan at the time and drove to her house when she got the news. Aunts, Uncles, Cousins from her Mom’s side were there.
My sister-in-law puts on airs, she’s a lady who lunches wannabe. Just the way she talks, her intonations make her act like she’s superior to just about everyone. The way she throws her head back and the dramatic way she gestures and talks. All the talk in her book about being an only child...she’s going to get her wish when the rest of my spouse’s family reads her book. She’s definitely going to have a very rude awakening. Or maybe that’s what she wants? To be rid of all this family who is beneath her? To be rid of her family that is an embarrassment to her.
My spouse was going to suggest to her friends to buy the book when it comes out. One of them is a member of a ladies church club. My spouse was going to suggest they make it a book club read. NOT GONNA HAPPEN! My sister-in-law has these grandiose ideas about doing book signings and readings. I highly doubt that either will happen. Perhaps her church friends will embrace and support her book, but I can’t imagine they wouldn’t question the omission of her family. I won’t be supporting this book, nor will my spouse.
The book is supposed to be about her personal struggles in life and how God got her through them and her intent is to have others read the book and basically find their way to her God and get through their own struggles. Yes, I wrote her God. The end of the book is basically her effort to convert the reader. Yes, the book talks about her personal struggles. I didn’t “get” how God got her through them. I mean, I don’t doubt it, but she didn’t convey that in the book.
I’ve met many people who make it their personal mission to convert people to their religion. I don’t care for it. I believe everyone has the right to practice whatever religion they choose as long as it doesn’t harm others. Reading this book explains a lot. It helped explain why, when I attempted to strike up a friendship, I was basically told her friend card is full. I’m perfectly fine with that now. I don’t aspire to be a lady who lunches and quite frankly I’ve never been comfortable with her drama, acting superior, and talking down to people.
Here is something I don’t understand. We read the SAME version of the Bible. How is it that her God is different than mine? Just something to ponder.
If anyone thought this family was fractured before this book is released, wait and see what happens after it is released and extended family read it.
After getting a pdf of the book I researched the publisher. It’s a self publisher where you pay to have your book published. There are different tiers of service, with the most expensive having the most support from the publisher. Straight out publish as is, have them handle editing, marketing, etc. It appears that if she payed them to edit she was definitely taken. I’m no English major, but I am a fairly good member of the grammar police. Spelling errors, wrong choice of words (Ex. There, they’re, their), and lots of words mashed together.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
I want my freedom back on my main blog. I don’t want to worry about what I post there. Maybe I should post a lot of colorful stuff and a lot of LGBTQ stuff and that will put her off and she won’t look at my blog ever again.
If you’ve got any ideas, let me know!
If anyone wants to Guest Post let me know!
Shane's Lounge ©2011-2020
I find the need for a safe haven now. I can’t believe how STUPID I was giving my sister-in-law my main Blog’s name and http:// address.
There was a legitimate reason for it. I did scrub from it any references to her and any negative family stuff, as well as anything too colorful.
My sister-in-law wrote a book and I got an advance copy to review. The book is a memoir. For starters, before I even get into the content, she’s over the top pushy about posting on Facebook and Twitter and about using her hashtags. I’ve posted once to Twitter.
Content. Without getting into specifics, I can speak to generally what the book is about. It’s about her personal struggles in life and how God got her through them. She had some very unfortunate events happen. I already knew about those things. Very difficult things to grieve and carry on after. There is also a lot of preachy stuff. I expected that.
Here is what I didn’t expect and what I am genuinely flabbergasted about:
She threw her entire family under the bus. At least those that she actually mentioned.
The characterizations of her childhood are horrible. She sounds like the poor little poor girl who grew up in a rich neighborhood in a home with too many people, jealous of her classmates clothing and their ability to afford after school activities.
She makes friends against the odds. Gets invited on a friend’s vacation and says her mother was jealous. Her Mom is not around to defend herself as she passed away several years ago. I was always taught ‘don’t speak unkindly of the dead’. It goes without saying that you shouldn’t write unkind and possibly untrue things about the dead. She refers to her friends as her sisters. She refers to herself as an ONLY CHILD! MORE THAN ONCE. She also refers to her friend’s mom as her “adoptive mom”. Her Mom was very much alive and well during this period.
She has 2 step sisters and a step brother, along with a step father who let her live with him for at least 5 years when she would have been homeless otherwise.
The book is a memoir.
I’m appalled! I’m angry. I have no idea how to write a review. I want to wash my eyes out and pretend I never read any of it. I don’t want to do the Facebook memes for the book or whatever she’s calling them and I don’t want to tweet about it anymore either.
I’m 65% into the book. I don’t want to stop reading because I’d really rather my spouse not read it in it’s entirety. I’d rather give her the Cliff Notes version. Last night she got so upset she was crying over it. I don’t want to see her cry, and as I said, I don’t think she should read it.
UPDATE: I finished the book late last night. It was more of the same and then some. She talks about trying to convert her husband to her religion and to live in the Freedom of her God. She talks about giving up on converting him and giving it to God to convert him and “save” him. The man was not a heathen. He was a church goer, believed in God, prayed to God daily. It just wasn’t her God. Shortly after her giving up on converting him he was killed in a car accident. To see her write about the aftermath, the hospital notification, telling family, the children, the funeral arrangements, service and burial there was no mention of any of her step family. Only gushing praise and love for her church “family”. It’s like her step family doesn’t exist. ALL her family was at her home from the time they were notified until the funeral service and after. All her step siblings were there, her step Dad, her Mom were there. My spouse lived in Michigan at the time and drove to her house when she got the news. Aunts, Uncles, Cousins from her Mom’s side were there.
My sister-in-law puts on airs, she’s a lady who lunches wannabe. Just the way she talks, her intonations make her act like she’s superior to just about everyone. The way she throws her head back and the dramatic way she gestures and talks. All the talk in her book about being an only child...she’s going to get her wish when the rest of my spouse’s family reads her book. She’s definitely going to have a very rude awakening. Or maybe that’s what she wants? To be rid of all this family who is beneath her? To be rid of her family that is an embarrassment to her.
My spouse was going to suggest to her friends to buy the book when it comes out. One of them is a member of a ladies church club. My spouse was going to suggest they make it a book club read. NOT GONNA HAPPEN! My sister-in-law has these grandiose ideas about doing book signings and readings. I highly doubt that either will happen. Perhaps her church friends will embrace and support her book, but I can’t imagine they wouldn’t question the omission of her family. I won’t be supporting this book, nor will my spouse.
The book is supposed to be about her personal struggles in life and how God got her through them and her intent is to have others read the book and basically find their way to her God and get through their own struggles. Yes, I wrote her God. The end of the book is basically her effort to convert the reader. Yes, the book talks about her personal struggles. I didn’t “get” how God got her through them. I mean, I don’t doubt it, but she didn’t convey that in the book.
I’ve met many people who make it their personal mission to convert people to their religion. I don’t care for it. I believe everyone has the right to practice whatever religion they choose as long as it doesn’t harm others. Reading this book explains a lot. It helped explain why, when I attempted to strike up a friendship, I was basically told her friend card is full. I’m perfectly fine with that now. I don’t aspire to be a lady who lunches and quite frankly I’ve never been comfortable with her drama, acting superior, and talking down to people.
Here is something I don’t understand. We read the SAME version of the Bible. How is it that her God is different than mine? Just something to ponder.
If anyone thought this family was fractured before this book is released, wait and see what happens after it is released and extended family read it.
After getting a pdf of the book I researched the publisher. It’s a self publisher where you pay to have your book published. There are different tiers of service, with the most expensive having the most support from the publisher. Straight out publish as is, have them handle editing, marketing, etc. It appears that if she payed them to edit she was definitely taken. I’m no English major, but I am a fairly good member of the grammar police. Spelling errors, wrong choice of words (Ex. There, they’re, their), and lots of words mashed together.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
I want my freedom back on my main blog. I don’t want to worry about what I post there. Maybe I should post a lot of colorful stuff and a lot of LGBTQ stuff and that will put her off and she won’t look at my blog ever again.
If you’ve got any ideas, let me know!
If anyone wants to Guest Post let me know!
Shane's Lounge ©2011-2020
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