“You haven’t amounted to anything.”
“You haven’t amounted to anything” was said to my son by his dad on Valentine’s Day. My son has a mental illness. This coming from his dad who is not currently working, hasn’t worked in years, and truly “hasn’t amounted to anything. For realz.
I can say this because I HAVE amounted to something.
• I raised 2 great kids with serious mental illnesses, really as a single Mom who only got bs and
excuses from their dad.
• I raised 2 great kids with serious illnesses who are well mannered and polite.
• I raised 2 great kids with serious mental illnesses who are loving and kind adults.
• I kept jobs for years where I was treated horribly, where I was taken advantage of in terms of
salary, where I should have left for a lot of reasons. I toughed it out and continued to work at
these places because I was the sole provider for my children. I had to make sure my kids had
food, clothing, school supplies, health and dental insurance.
I could go on, had I not medicated before I wrote this. You get my general point. I raised my kids to be great adults despite interference and lack of support, both financial, and in the way that he treated them throughout their lives. The manipulation, lack of contact, inappropriate contact (verbal, written).
I was driving when my son told me this. I wanted to burst into tears because of what an awful thing to say to your own child, and because I was so angry. I didn’t burst into tears because I didn’t want my son to see me do it. I was wearing sunglasses and kept wiping the tears. My voice cracked when I spoke. He knew I was upset. He didn’t need to know how upset.
I had to remind my son the place his dad comes from. His dad has a mental illness that he refuses to acknowledge and has worked for very short periods of time since 1995. Mostly not working. How would his dad even know what it means to be a person who amounts to something?
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