I belong to an LGBT social group and I attend most of the events. Saturday night the group leader and I decided to attend an event that was held by another social group. The event was purported to be a house party/game night. We've held these in our group many times and they have been a blast. From playing board games, card games (even strip poker), Wii and Truth or Dare (via a Droid app.)
We arrived first, which we were not too thrilled about. The weather was poor, snow, and we were afraid we might be the only attendees. Eighteen women had rsvp'd to attend.
Shorty after we arrived other people slowly trickled in, and eventually we had 8 people before my friend and I left. Just as we were about to leave, 2 more people showed up, one of which we knew and begged us to stay, but we just couldn't take it any longer. Why could we not take it any longer? Here are the players in this episode:
Shane - Me
Mary - The leader of the social group who rode with me.
Brenda - In insurance sales. - She was one of only 3 real lesbians in attendance before we made a move to leave, other than myself, Mary, Donna, and Nancy.
Donna - She had a brain injury awhile back and consequently she has no filter. She just says whatever pops into her head, without filtering it to make it politically correct, or even polite.
Tina - Hostess of the party. Married, not yet divorced, husband no longer living in the home.
Emily - The hostess's girlfriend. Married, not yet divorced, still living with her husband.
Gail - She's a personal assistant. Married, not yet divorced, still living with her husband, though she claims to have been sleeping in separate bedrooms for 10 years.
Nancy - She is married to a woman, but apparently it's not going well.
Brandy - A member of our group who we know.
Kim - Brandy brought her as her guest. We didn't stay long enough to find out anything about her.
Brenda was constantly working while she was there, trying to drum up business for her insurance job. She also set up Tina, Emily, Gail, and me with her Linkedin profile claiming she had a bunch of recruiters on her page. She also got contact information from Nancy and hopes to sell her life insurance. (Ok, this is the boring part, keep reading...it get's way more interesting.)
Tina offers alcohol to all guests and keeps it free flowing. She does not however, offer any non-alcoholic beverages to Mary and I. I was driving, therefore not drinking, and Mary never drinks. We were dying of thirst by the time we left. All the snacks were salty, and every time one of us was going to ask Tina for a beverage, she was headed out to the garage with Emily. Definitely the rudest hostess I've encountered. How can you not offer all guests a beverage? But wait...there's more...
Tina and Emily leave the party numerous times for various lengths of time. Basically long enough to get it on, while us guests are trying to keep the conversation going and trying not to crack jokes about the length of their absence and what they may be doing. Yes, we all realize you probably don't get to see one another much, being on the down low and all, but then don't host a party if you're going to be continually sneaking off.
Tina met Emily at a school mommy group and became a couple on the down low fairly quickly.
Mary messaged me before I picked her up and told me that she found out the woman she broke up with, Anita, is now seeing Natalie, a member of our group. Anita and Natalie met at the Valentines bowling event when Mary was still seeing Anita. Major drama ensued when we got there because texts were flying the whole length of the party and all the guests got involved in the drama.
Then Donna arrives and explains her whole brain injury issue and she's constantly piping in inappropriate comments and asking inappropriate questions. Yes! Seriously!
Then Gail arrives and explains her situation and that she is a part time personal assistant for a very busy executive woman. Gail talked about how her ex gf wants to get back with her. Her ex gf, by the way, is her neighbor across the street from her, who...you guessed it...is married and still living with her husband and on the down low. Gail also talked about how she goes to all kinds of lgbt events and comes and goes from her home (where she lives with her husband) and that he doesn't have a clue that she's seeing women on the down low. Gail says she doesn't want to divorce her husband because he's paying for everything.
Nancy didn't talk much, but did say she was having problems with her wife again. All the rest of the guests knew her and groaned and told her she needed to find someone else.
Mary and I had no idea what to say in response to all of this and had a hard time keeping our jaws from hitting the table. Neither of us had been to an event where the guest's lives were so f'd up. Around 11pm I texted Mary asking if she wanted to go. She immediately texted "YES", and after we both used the bathroom (separately of course), I got up from the table and made excuses to leave. Just as we headed to the door Brandy arrived with her date Kim. Brandy begged us to stay because she figured we had good reason to be leaving so early (the party started at 9pm). But we just couldn't do it. Yes...we threw them under the bus! I learned today that they only stayed for an hour because they couldn't stand it either.
There were never any games played...unless you count all the games these women were playing with their husbands and children. All they did was drink (a lot) and tell their drama filled stories.
Update: Guess whose photo I saw on one of the online dating sites for lesbians last week?
...are you guessing?
Tina.
I guess she's on the double-down low. (On the down low with her husband and her gf.) And yes, she had checked it recently, the site gives the date of the last time a person signs into the site.
Shane's Lounge ©2011
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